The main narrative is about the loss of an unborn child, so the indefinite state of life itself, when life in the womb still remains undecided as whether it will see the world, the light; before a child can take their first independent breath.
Oxygen is the precondition for breathing, but the first breath outside of the womb signals the real thing: possibly being able to live, now.
But the imagination of perceiving colors, shapes, light, smells, and noises could already be developed in the womb, which leads us to ask: Is there perception before life, one in the world of the womb?
In combination with dreamlike sequences of palm trees and a small island lost in a sea of fog, following an endless field of clouds and dazzled by lightning bolts of changing colors, the video creates its own dynamic that is fascinating when you experience both hope and despair at the same time.

Breath, 12 min, HD, 2020

Link Vimeo

What's Being Told

"What's being told" is the description of verbal misunderstanding under the conditions of power. Two friends meet in a room decorated by a wallpaper with a virus pattern. They are masked with cube heads. On the walls hang three portraits, whose faces are unrecognisable and overdrawn. One person appears determined and has a demanding tone of voice, while the other, visibly nervous and with trembling hands, remains on the defensive.
The dialogue that begins represents a conversation without an object; the semantic connections of the statements and utterances are as if cut off. Visibly unintentionally they are connected by gestural-psychic actions: The more offensive figure nervously shrugs his shoulder, the more reserved one trembles incessantly.
In dream-like sequences, other persons enter mysterious rooms one after the other, which are bathed in black or blue light; obviously, it is about the shadowy space of memory. Another person, this time headless and dressed in white, floats down, invisibly moved, and says in a choral voice: "Do what you want, shall be the whole law."
The dialogue changes due to the contrasting transference of the characters to each other. The language of the hitherto dominant person becomes defensive, while the hitherto restrained person argues resolutely, "The door is wide open, you just have to see." The previously dominant person, thrust into his new role, responds, "Excuse me? Where did you get all this information?" Various snippets of dialogue and interjections follow one another.
A refrain in the form of a figure floating upward announces, "I worship myself." At the end, the previously reticent person says in a knowing tone, "The captain has betrayed us," and the headless one announces, "The message has been delivered."

In many situations, we experience that we are not masters in our own house. Power structures decide right down to the details of our private actions, without our being able to defend ourselves against them. The fantasies of Orwell, Huxley and Bradbury have a current, serious dimension in some places of this world. However, just as many apologists of lies appear; conspiracy theories are used to invent a suitable reality. The concept of the film is to allow both possibilities. The viewer should decide how to interpret dialogue and images. The film is structured like a chamber play: The emphasis is on speech acts, their slowing down, the importance of pauses. In traditional film, the narrative should be exaggerated, a chronological linearity is the engine, and the images must be overwhelming.
Here the opposite happens: the message is embedded in the exaggeration of non-linearity, the stretched dialogues, the slowing down of the flow of images..


I Wanna Leave (Episode 2): What's Being Told, 12.50 min, HD, 2022

Link Vimeo

Documentary about the installation X-Ray-Portrait in 2003 in the then still unrenovated Festspielhaus Hellerau. The Soviet forces had vacated the building in the 1990s after it had served as a gymnasium and attached hospital for Soviet troops in Dresden. The incredible sound was written by James Welburn, who spent two days composing in the former gymnasium during the construction of the installation. The X-Ray recordings were taken from the archives found in the legacies of the armed forces. For personal protection reasons, all personal data has been removed from the recordings. Thanks to Friederike Meyer, who gave me the archive and arranged for the curation of the exhibition. 

Tor Seidel: X-Ray-Portrait, Festspielhaus Dresden Hellerau 2003

Link Trailer Vimeo